Photo Credit:  flickr

Being in a state of constant happiness takes effort, thought and purposive behavior.  You remind yourself that there are many blessings in your life, and that takes some thinking, sometimes.  You also take care to be available to and for those you love and respect, and they reciprocate this action.

Out in the real world, you strive to do your best work, and give it quality time, but, with the kind of boundaries in place, that allow for fun, laughter, rest, and recreation.  All of these tools of behavior are working for you, at least, a good percentage of the time, and you are happy.  However, is there a blessing that may not be receiving the kind of celebration it deserves?

This blessing is labeled in our society as “friendship”, and it is, like any blessing, priceless.  If a person is in your life, many people believe, it is not by accident.  Friends are often not planned by you or your conscious choice.  They happen, as if by a great cosmic design!

OK, you don’t think about your good friends in that way.  Well, think again, please.

Your friendships are gifts to you, and you, in return give back this goodness, to the other person, or people.  The support and insights given to you in many forms;( from great conversations, sharing of common  interests and experiences, working  together to be successful, volunteering in ways that you both find stimulating and satisfying, ) that are provided by friends, add to your wholeness as a human being.

All of these events are constructed of and based upon, interaction with those you trust, believe in, and respect.  Even the people whom you find to be challenging and difficult at times, and with whom you may often disagree, add a dimension to who you really are as a person.

NEVER underestimate the value of your fellow-man, whom you have met in your lifetime, and have called your friend.  Never get too busy, or over-committed to reach out to and nurture these people, and treat them as well as you wish to be treated.  This interaction with valued peers and others,  comes back into our lives as surely as if we had planned it.  It is almost as if we are writing the book of our lives by our actions, and the ending will be the outcome of each conscious decision we make about  what our actions are going to be.

In many cultures, how a person greets others is a very much cherished event.  In India, great care is taken to smile and stop to spend time with the friends you meet each day; to listen to them and take great care to let these people know that they are valued.

In the Far East, people give the salutation “I See You”, which means “I am the Light in You”.  What this means is that they are giving blessings to each other, to show that they value the place each has in the life of the other human being.

Treating your friends with consideration, respect, and genuine affection is a very positive action to take.  It is not possible to over-value your friendships.  The fact that we have become part of the lives of other people isn’t really an accident, in my view, it is a miracle.

If your friend calls after you have had an extremely difficult day, or just  e-mails, and you find yourself laughing, smiling, giggling, and uplifted, and yes, restored;  to me that is a priceless gift.

Deep thinkers, scholars, and gurus of every kind, over the centuries, and yes, today as well, say that when we meet a person, and call that person friend, then it is because you see yourself in this person.  Treat him or her as you treat yourself; think of him or her as you think of yourself, and remember that you can find or lose yourself by the way you interact with your friends.

You cannot be truly happy, if you don’t make the time and take the time to value, respect, and rejoice in your treasured friendships.   Make sure that how you say “HELLO” let’s them know that they are part of your sustained happiness and wholeness in life.  You will never regret treating these people as you would treat yourself.   Make sure you find ways to thank them for being part of your enhanced life, and well being.

My friends are a light in my life, and I wish you all, this kind of contentment.

Photo Credit:  Shiftinaction

Happiness is often comprised of not only your wish to feel it and sustain it, but your ability to preserve it, when external factors cause you pain, suffering, and even great loss.  Social interaction, work related problems, and the risks that everyone faces daily, in this hectic, crowded and often angry world, can have a negative effect on you, and your sustainable happiness.  There are however, steps which you can take to let go of anger, hurt, and resentment, and learn to forgive others, in order to have happiness, health and a good balance of physical and emotional well being in life.

Learning to forgive people when they hurt you or those you love, or when they make life more difficult then it needs to be, is a very important part of sustaining happiness.  You can’t move forward with your life if you let sorrow, rage, contempt, and sadness keep you stuck in the moment.  If you can find a way within yourself, to stop the “blame-game”, and forgive, you will begin to heal and you’ll also gain strength.

1. Begin with small steps.  Let go of the minor irritations you have with others, and the small offenses that happen in your work-related environment and inter-personal relationships with family and friends.  No one is perfect and at times everyone disappoints someone else in their life, often without intent.  The more you react to these small life lessons with a forgiving nature, the more quickly your own discomfort will disappear.  Learning to forgive others, and yes, yourself as well, when you or they, make a mistake or have a misunderstanding, creates a more resilient and stronger you. When you let go of anger and disappointment with others, or the events that you have no control over; emotionally, mentally and even physically, you will be happier and healthier.

2. Make a conscious effort to let go of the negativity you feel.  Never suppress feelings of anger or they will stay with you, damage your health and affect your behavior.  This does not mean that you excuse or condone hurtful behavior.  It means that you are letting it go, in order to move forward and restore your happiness.

3. Learn from your reaction to the anger you felt. Ask yourself what you’ve observed about how you’re anger changes you, and try to gain perspective about how or why the other person acted in a hurtful manner.  Use this information as a gift.  What you’ll gain is that your happiness will be renewed.  If you gain insights into your own reactions, and those of other people, the personal growth you achieve will can be limitless and positive.  Forgiving the other person, is freeing for you, and may benefit that person, as well.

Having the courage to walk through painful experiences with faith that you can and will be better by practicing forgiveness, owning your feelings, and gaining insights as to how not to let anger and resentment have space in your happy and productive life; not only allows you to heal yourself, it helps you become less stressed and able to concentrate your energy into positive behavior that perpetuates good health, confidence, hopefulness and the kind of on-going happiness that is contagious.

Photo Credit:  Ernie Eldredge

Philosophers say that “life happens while you are busy making plans”.  Life also happens while you’re facing challenges that are daunting, frustrating and even fearful; and often these events occur when anger, resentment, and criticism seem to surround you.

In order to keep happiness constant, it helps to understand what unhappiness is, and how to keep it transient rather than permanent.  Often when you’re feeling very happy, inwardly, you’re hoping that it will last.  When life’s little tests happen, you wonder why they feel like “forever” is written all over them.

When you have to struggle to overcome problems and no easy solutions are available, it’s only human and natural to become fearful.  These feelings intensify and doubt replaces positive rational thought.  Along with fear, distressing problems and the unhappiness that accompanies them, have an isolating effect on us; and the tendency to give up or give in and fail, is very real and palpable.

It is at moments like these, when it becomes very necessary to remind yourself that everyone feels like you do, from time to time.  In order to reinstate the feelings of happiness that you crave, it is necessary to understand that whatever your problems are, they do not “define” who you are as a person.  Unhappiness can only control your emotions if you let it!

Often, people feel the need to hide their unhappiness from others, because society does not seem to accept and tolerate problems and negativity, very well.  Suppressing feelings that are as profound as unhappiness is, only intensifies them.

Consider these steps:

1)      Coming to terms with and accepting the fact that you have some problems, is the 1^st step in healing and getting your happiness back.

2)      A 2^nd step in regaining your happiness occurs when you “ask for help” and allow yourself to get answers and solutions for your problems.

3)      It may take months, work and sacrifice, and a great deal of patience, but in time, because you’ve faced your fears, asked for and accepted help to heal from unhappiness, and then, 3^rd if you make a firm commitment to regain happiness and contentment, these feelings will be present again.

The element that enhances the happiness you feel, again, is love.  Love inspires everything that is good in life.  If you can lovingly accept who you are, even with doubts, problems and fears; and really feel love for the people and blessings in your life, happiness will always be available to you.  If you have the courage to profess your love for others, and form sincere attachments to them, you’re happiness will be enhanced and consistent in life.

Keep in mind that being happy and sustaining it, does not happen through conscious thought processes.  Happiness is an unconscious choice that you make to be open and willing to embrace the joy of living, without a plan, without reservations and judgments.  Living in the present moment, unconditionally, with positivity, love, attachments and a willingness to have new experiences, and faith in yourself; this is the pathway to all that you seek for yourself.

Photo Credit:  Brighthopechurch

The ability and capacity to be happy is inherent in every human being.  If you are both aware and accepting of this built-in potential, and the proven fact that happiness can be enhanced by elements which are present in our environment, there is even more reason to be joyous.  One of the most critical of these elements is what society labels as “friendship”.  The power and worth of the friendship factor, cannot be under-estimated, because being a happy human being means being a social human being.

Many studies about human interaction support the theories which conclude that healthy minds and bodies, as well as, the ability to sustain happiness, depend on social support systems that individuals nurture and maintain in their lives.  Often this system is made up of family members, friends, spiritual guidance clergy, and of course, significant others.  People who have this kind of inter-connection with others whom they like, respect, value and trust, sleep well,  experience less stress, take better care of themselves, and function with far more focus, clarity and energy in their waking hours.

Observers of modern living, or whatever definition is placed on the 21^st Century lifestyle, have noted that the new technology has made all facets of life ramped up to warp speed living. Demands on everyone’s time have more than quadrupled, along with job expectations, and the cost of living.  Thinking, communication, occupational demands, and greater expectations, precipitated by the availability of the round-the-clock information highway, have had some devastating effects on our  integral social networking process.

If you make the effort to socialize after long hours of hard work, and relationship demands, you’re doing it with increasingly fewer numbers of people.  These days, friendship with two or more people, in anyone’s life, is a rarity.  Marriages end with greater frequency, and being single means working even harder to achieve your economic goals.  Families change, kids grow up, and couples break up long standing relationships.  Invariably people can and do become isolated and lonely.  This begins to affect the quality of life and the happiness level that everyone needs and wants to sustain.

Once again, it is time to prioritize your life!  First, decide to take care of yourself and nourish your friendships.  Don’t expect perfection from other people or your family members.  Own your happiness by being the kind of friend to others which you would want for yourself.  If none of your family lives in close proximity, create the support you crave by finding people with similar interests, either in your neighborhood, the work place, or by joining churches and clubs that peak your interest.  Getting involved in community functions or charity fund raising groups, is a great way to “pay it forward” while establishing healthy, happiness enhancing, relationships.

If you do the foot-work to find and keep valued friendships, and supportive family in your life, you will find that it is much easier to feel your happiness, in every aspect of your life.  Friends give you a greater perspective about the world and your place and value in it.  When feelings are shared, satisfaction is found on a deeper level. Interaction with and caring about each other is the greatest definition of being truly human.

Photo Credit:  somethingfromnothing

Many people believe that being happy is very selfish.  They point out that when so many people in the world are terribly unhappy, anything which is unfair to one group of individuals should be shared, suffered and felt by all of us.  This thinking is often referred to as Martyrdom. Martyrs feel that you must suffer to deserve anything good that may occur.  They don’t believe in happiness as a naturally occurring human condition.  This thinking is often learned from certain cultures and religions in which the leaders of these groups, suffered greatly during their lives, for a cause that they felt was greater than their existence.  This thinking is part of who they are, but it does not negate the existence of happiness, nor its value to a far greater number of human beings.

Numerous studies show that people who follow the martyrdom theories, are frequently depressed, and are quite often found to be self-absorbed, judgmental and myopic.  Happy people are known to be kind, interesting, loving and generous.  If happiness was all about being selfish, why do those who accept happiness as a natural condition of well being, feel the urgent need to share their feelings with everyone?

Life is finite, and everyday that we are allowed to be part of it, is a great gift.  Living fully and with a grateful heart, focusing on what you decide is important in your life; and feeling the depth of your own happiness, makes life about as good as it gets.

Realizing that some suffering is part of the human experience, and that life is very often unfair, and tragic; if you can allow yourself to be accepting of what happens, good or bad, and still experience the joy and contentment that comes from within, then the love you feel for life is unconditional.

This is my simple list of 8 ways to enhance your natural state of happiness, when life, with all of its unpredictable events, throws you off balance and into the “headlights” of oncoming events:

1)      Get enough sleep because it is restorative and allows you to feel your happiness more deeply.

2)      Have the courage to find someone to love and share your happiness with, and contentment will be strengthened.

3)      Staying healthy and active by exercising and eating a diet rich in vitamins and minerals is crucial to your overall well being.

4)      Setting boundaries and not being over-committed, in order to set reasonable goals and achieve them, allows you to be in charge of your own time as much as possible.

5)      Construct a personal space for yourself and those you love, and make it cozy, safe, and an expression of your taste and values.

6)      Set reasonable goals that are achievable and satisfying.

7)      Trust yourself and your instincts, and you will never be let down.

8)      Be kind to everyone and yourself as well, in order to sustain happiness.

Following these steps to enhance the happiness you feel naturally in your life, will not only increase your joy, it will spread to others, including those you love.  When you treat life as the gift that it is, and are willing to share your joy and contentment, you will never be selfish or undeserving of huge amounts of uncontainable happiness.  Gandhi said many times, “my life is my message”.  Live like that and you will be all that you can be.

Photo Credit:  Jdasovic

Wanting to think more clearly, act more responsibly, and find more contentment you make the conscious decision to be happy, no matter what is happening in your life.  After years of discontent, you’ve decided that happiness is not about the circumstances you find yourself in economically, or your health issues or relationship status.  Once you make this decision, you begin to wonder how you will keep it going, once you truly feel happy and content.  Is happiness sustainable, and better yet is it constant?

The answer to this question is yes.  You must believe that happiness is an innate and constant state because our ability to experience it never dissipates.  It is that simple, and at the same time, that profound.  What then should be done about feeling angry, or fearful?  How do we overcome illness, pain and disappointment while remaining inwardly content?  The realization that being content comes from deep within our nature, and that everyday, happiness is at the center of who we are; this is the knowledge which allows us to deal with our present pain, let go of our painful past memories, and fully understand that being happy helps us to heal from illness, pain and fear.  Moods, both good and bad, come and go, along with success or failure, acceptance or rejection.  When you are happy, you feel powerful, in charge of your own destiny, and on many levels, you feel free.

To be truthful with ourselves, we have to acknowledge that our negative feelings in life come from our own thoughts.  Thought always precedes feelings.  If our state of mind is positive because we take time, in our busy lives, to embrace happiness and joy as often as we possibly can; then our thoughts, both great and small, pondered or momentary, will be more positive and will illicit a better response from others;  while inspiring us to become better human beings.

We all have the innate ability to pick and choose which thoughts to act upon and which thoughts to discard. Making an effort to curb negative thoughts and perpetuate positive thinking, allows us to live life in a more productive and fulfilling way. Negativity generates stress, counter-productive behavior, and unhappiness.  When we are happy and positive, we are more able to listen well, focus and be accepting of changes which occur , as well as, fostering many more creative ideas.

This is my list of 10 Simple Ways to Sustain Constant Happiness While Living in the Real World:

1.        Create a loving environment in your personal space and share it with those you love.

2.        Continue to learn, as much as you can, for a lifetime.

3.        Embrace change but hold tight to your values.

4.        Share your knowledge of all things, with everyone.

5.        Tell the people that you love, how you feel, and do it often.

6.        Spend some quiet time alone.

7.        Be a good friend, neighbor and listener.

8.        Think and then act responsibly with honor and dignity.

9.        When you’re wrong admit it and learn from it.

10.      Be good to the environment.

This list could be endless, and continues to evolve.  It might be time to make your own list.

Every living being has the potential to lead a sustainably happy life.  We all have millions of thoughts and feelings during all of the minutes that we are awake during any 24 hour period of time.  It is imperative that we bring positivity to our behavior, and act on only those thoughts which are productive, and those that deal with reality and not just our own perception of it.  Our thoughts assist us in understanding what we see happening in the world.  Negative thoughts often confuse clear thinking, while positive thoughts lead to positive actions, feelings and creativity.  Happiness is constant when surrounded by the joy and contentment that positive feelings evoke.

Photo Credit:  Blogger

It’s Monday morning and your “to do” list is longer than your arm.  Life is lived on over-drive as you: multi-task, work overtime, maneuver in traffic, pay the bills before the shorter due dates ruin your FICO score, keep promises, meet commitments and try to be a role model for the kids; as well as, being a strong part of an equal and healthy relationship.

Time is a rare and precious commodity.  You try to steal it, stretch it, race against it, keep it from flying away and finally wonder where it all went.  You’re busy, over-achieving to get ahead, and actually you’ve fallen victim to living your life on the run.  Are you happy?  Are you too stressed and beleaguered to think about what you’re feeling?  How much time does it take to be happy, anyway?

Happiness is not about the time factor.  You experience happiness in a moment, a minute, in time spent with loved ones, whether it’s hours, or days, or as long as it takes for a warm hug.  Happiness is contained in the simple pleasures, blissful experiences, or in doing work that you love, for a lifetime.

The truth is that happiness is not based on having the time to experience the feeling.  To achieve the true and lasting happiness everyone wants, you have to believe that you deserve it, and that you’re worthy of possessing it.

Human beings attract whatever they feel that they deserve.  Knowing your own self-worth, valuing the person that you are, flaws and all, and giving yourself permission to feel joyful, blissful and contented; this is the mind set that gets you what you seek.

Are you lacking in morals, ethics, beliefs and values, or are you just a person who does their best to contribute something to the world, while working, paying taxes, voting and whenever possible, lending a helping hand to others?  If you seek some simple pleasure, joy and fun, tell yourself these truths:

• Happiness is as natural as breathing in and out.

• Happiness is free.

• Happiness is as available to us as we are receptive to it.

• Happiness is inside of all of us, waiting to be embraced.

Make the conscious choice to be happy with the understanding that you are a worthy person, and you do deserve to experience joy and contentment every single day.  Happiness will embrace you and you will make time to experience it.

Photo Credit:  Artzink

Think about the very first moment when you woke up this morning, and describe it to yourself.  Did you wake up peacefully, and jump out of your warm bed, excited to meet the challenges of your new day?  Or….did you roll over, pull the covers over your head, and hit the snooze alarm button, grumbling about feeling fatigued and needing just ten more minutes of rest?  Does the simple act of getting out of bed leave you feeling as if you’ve lost every ounce of energy you just had, before  your day has even begun?  Are you an early morning moaner?

Most of us get up, clean up, eat and have that all important caffeine jolt of coffee and then get out the door and off to work we go.  Our bodies are prepared to enter the real world, but what about our minds?

If you really think about it, in those first few moments of consciousness, after opening your eyes, you set the mood for each new day.  Its only human to immediately begin to concentrate on the tasks which must be accomplished, and not take the time, or spend any energy on how you want to feel.  Preparing yourself mentally is every bit as important as your physical preparations.

Making a conscious decision is the paramount and critical factor, in having happiness surround you, RIGHT NOW.  If your mind-set is neglected, and you function by habit, which I call auto-pilot, and a “to-do list” is your mantra, how can positivity, peace and joy be allowed into your existence?  You decide to be happy, peaceful, loving and accepting, when you allow yourself to believe that no matter what happens in your day, your intention is to dwell on the good, and let the rest go.  This quiet but heart-felt decision to be loving, forgiving, and joyous, ultimately creates the opportunity for happiness and contentment to have a permanent presence in your life. Meditation, yoga, quiet moments, and even reading a daily affirmation or inspirational quotation, can greatly assist you in choosing a positive disposition with which to embrace the day.

Deciding, both consciously and subconsciously, by being peaceful and contemplative for a short time, often, in your life; allows you to be open, available and accepting of happiness, love, peace and joy.  It’s quite simply, UP TO YOU and how YOU decide to live your life each day.  YOU decide what your mind-set and intentions will be.

As the prolific French Philosopher Voltaire said in the 18^th Century, ” YOU ARE WHAT YOU SEEK”! Wake up and prepare yourself mentally and physically for miracles to happen.

Photo Credit:  Genny Waldron

Everyone has the potential to be a loving, caring and generous person.  However, we all have a tendency to be judgmental of others and of ourselves.  If you are a happy and joyous person, you don’t concentrate on taking a critical inventory of yourself and others. When we are young, we are completely accepting of ourselves, and experience a sense of happiness and well-being.  Later, we learn to set high standards for ourselves as we interact with out extended family, friends and the world around us.

We learn to critique ourselves and everything else, when it happens to us.  Often we find that making judgments has become a large and all-inclusive part of our lifestyle, as we grow and learn more and more about what is expected of us, and what our own potential for achievement is in life.  We are toughest on ourselves, and demand self-perfection while identifying our every flaw.  We seem to get caught up in overcompensating for our weaknesses, by trying ever harder to improve.

This kind of excessive self-judgment leaves no room in our lives to seek contentment, happiness and joy.  The negativity we project erodes our perceptions of everything we see and feel; and can lead to illnesses such as depression or even substance abuse. Feelings of inadequacy have a profoundly negative affect on our relationships, as we try to find inner peace in our lives.

How do we let go of this destructive mind-set that keeps us from being happy?  Some people become overachievers.  They feel that keeping busy gives them no time for judgments or self-bashing.  The more they do to prove their worth to themselves and the world; and the more praise and possessions they gather, the less fear and doubt will plague them.

Achieving success is a good thing, but it will not bring the contentment and happiness you seek.  CHANGING YOUR MIND is how you change your life.  Stop judging and start accepting yourself as a worthwhile human being.  Our judgments stand in the way of our ever being happy.  They affect the people we know and love, our work environment and everything else.

When we can accept ourselves and say “OK, this is who I am and I like me”, then we give ourselves the ability and the willingness to be liked and loved by others, and we can relate to the people in our lives in a healthy way.  We have to forgive ourselves for our flaws, mistakes and weaknesses and celebrate our good traits of honesty, kindness and worth.

Believing in yourself and being willing to change your thinking, over time, will lead to actually feeling the kind of happiness that is already within you. If we stop judging and become accepting of our value and worth, we begin to truly live the healthy and happy life we seek so desperately.

Photo Credit: Waitrose

Happiness comes from many sources and one of the most significant is having satisfying relationships.  Relationships with other people are a special gift that enriches our life and compounds our feelings of peace and contentment.  People do not have the power to make us happy; however, they do have the profound ability to encourage us to be happy.  Relationships teach us to be non-judgmental of others.  We also learn that each individual has unique qualities and experiences to bring to us, and when we share ourselves and our life experiences with them, in return, we become more whole and complete human beings.

If we strive to be truly happy, then we need to be involved in healthy relationships, and we should make them a priority in our life.  Finding friends you care about, and who feel the same way about you, isn’t a difficult task.  Thanks to the powers of attraction, when we love ourselves, and feel worthy of our happiness, like-minded people enter our lives.

To Nurture Your Relationships:

a)      Give your close relationships the time and attention they deserve.

b)      Don’t take your friendships and those you love and care deeply about, for granted.

c)       The good people in our lives are “gifts” which are loaned to us, remember to cherish them.

d)      Each day, be grateful for your relationships and blessings. (I keep a journal called “GOOD STUFF”, and it helps me, when the not so good stuff occurs.)

Happiness increases when we share it with others and when we reach out and help others too.  Giving back something to society, and being truly grateful for our self-knowledge and close interaction with all kinds of people, truly makes better and more whole human beings of each of us.  This is all a “win-win” situation for us as human beings, and for society.   Why not take time to tell others that being non-judgmental, more grateful, and forgiving of ourselves and those we know, leads to smiling faces and a better quality of life.